True Freedom

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” -Shel Silverstein


I recognize that I have true freedom in my present situation. I have love, intellect, and curiosity.  These attributes of freedom allow me to embrace the opportunities I see in my life.  Such as, asking questions, and learning to love others in a more authentic way.  Freedom to ask questions allows me to understand other's personal place of freedom, and equips me to best serve them.  
      I have a strong aquatics background that I attribute to my family's love of water.  So, through much practice and respect for the power of water, I have come to embrace it and feel completely comfortable with it.  This comfort led me to pursue certifications through the Red Cross as a lifeguard, WSI, FIT, and first aid.  When explaining my teaching methods to my swimming students I tell them I work to give them the tools they need to best swim.  In order to swim one needs to understand their body.  Therefore, I try to teach my students to trust their bodies, knowing they have air, and they are capable of controlling the air if they can understand it.  In order to understand the air they must utilize their pilot, better known as their brain, trusting it to keep them safe. They must also understand the other tools they use to aid them in learning swimming, such as a kick board, goggles, lane lines etc.  Despite the power of these tools I teach my students they must first trust their bodies, or their tools will only cripple them. For if one does not first learn to trust their body, they will struggle to use the other tools properly.  All of that being said, as a person raised in the Christian faith, I must be cautious of my desire to "save" people.  This is a difficult task considering the enormous strength the Christian faith possesses here in the South.  When explaining my philosophy of "saving" to a group of trusted friends, I related it to swimming and life guarding because it is a gradual process dependent on the individuals present situation. This takes critical judgement, practice, exploration, and time, all qualities I believe a free person possesses.  
      So, all of this analysis leaves me with questions, what skills do my future students in life need that I can provide? What skills do I still need? Lastly, how can we work together to acquire these tools? I'm grateful for the freedom to question, and use my creativity in doing so.


In trusting myself, I'd love to stay up all night and write, but I need sleep.  Therefore, soon to come some pictures of why I love water.


Here they are...

 

Maybe?

So, I've given up, and in that have begun to try. To try and answer life's most true questions with a question.  For in trying to be "right" every waking moment is exhausting, and limits one in their ability.  This does not mean I've decided to forfeit all that I know to be true, but it does mean faith and trust are authentic too. Someone who says this a little better in their own way worth watching is this guy....
Check it out if you so desire, http://www.ted.com/talks/jer_thorp_make_data_more_human.html

And of course some other writing...

Maybe oh maybe, I am a dreamer, a lover, and sure as hell no saint.
But maybe oh maybe my baby, I think life is great.
To live in the spirit, my intuition, my light,
Suits me well (and as always a good thing), makes me less uptight
For I can dwell in the unknown and not be condemned or ashamed
The mystical potential and my life plays like a game
So I dare to dream and declare for I know my timing to be true,
and never forget to say bless you
If you believe it to be true

Mania or Genius?

"I believe that curiosity, wonder, and passion are defining qualities of imaginative minds and great teachers; that restlessness and discontent are vital things; and that intense experience and suffering instruct us in ways less intense emotions can never do.  I believe, in short, we are equally beholden to heart and mind, and that those who have particularly passionate temperaments and questioning minds leave the world a different place for their having been there.  It is important to value intellect and discipline, of course, but it is also important to recognize the power of irrationality, enthusiasm, and vast energy...It is best to acknowledge this, to accept it, and to admire the diversity of temperaments Nature has dealt us."-Kay Redfield Jamison

There are so many rules that guide us every day and for good reasons. However, when rules begin to affront what is morally good, true, and loving, it is here that I have a problem. When rules require us to abandon creativity, or intuition, kindness, and mercy, we must follow a different set of rules.  We must live as awakened souls, free to dream, learn, and wander without fear of failure.  For life's "failures" are just lessons requiring more thought and dedication.  Embrace difference, for it is within our differences we are able to see our most sincere similarities.  Elizabeth Gilbert supports similar embraces of creativity and speaks her truth with amazing clarity and grace.
Check it out!
http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html

Homeward Bound

"There are few things pure in this world anymore, and home is just one of the few." -OAR

To me there is nothing like home. As I've grown I realize I have many different places I can call home, favorite coffee shops, church, the library, school, favorite trails etc, but there is still nothing like the original.

"Homeward Bound"
Driving down the highway I reach and scratch my hand
I scream at the top of my lungs!
My voice shakes octaves much higher than the music blaring
or air entering through the car door
I zig zag down the mountain and I long to feel REAL
to break FREE from this entrapped car and FLY
Fly to the peaks of the blue ridges
Stretch my soul to the heavens and meet my ancestors
where they first stood
To know of a time when real hard work was valued
Work on and of the land
When music was made from the voices of the woods,
and community was felt not in texts or calls but in true mammal warmth
I long to sleep under the stars and feel the rain
For without these true sensations I return to the same familiar places
In cars trapped and wanting
In a mind that screams to be free

This is a photograph of one of my homes...Long Beach Island, NJ "The Shore"

When the world doesn't make sense...

I find this quote quite uplifting and liberating...

"It was okay to be perplexed, to be torn by issues, to look at the world and not feel inadequate because it would not sort itself out cleanly...I came to realize that I had my own convictions, and if, at times, they took me in circles, at least they expanded outward." -Ted Gup

This makes me more apt to embrace life's mysteries, take the cards I'm dealt, and try to play to the best of my ability. So, embrace the simple things that somehow make sense. Here is a picture and a poem of a simple joy in my life, the valley. Thanks Ted.

 

On the same day in March

I can wait at the bus stop in my sweatshirt with my hood down

I can bask in the sun reading my book, no need to worry about the wind today, so my pages lay flat

The sun glows over the valley, but the trees are still bare and the grass frosty

I hear the birds as I climb the stairs

Knowing there is potential for a beautiful day

How we get from here to there

I read recently that the way you view transportation is the way you look at life.  This lead me to thinking about the way I look at transportation. I'm an Appal Cart rider for many reasons; it is economically, socially, and environmentally friendly.  However, I still have to make this choice, and assess what it is I value. I think these are important things for us to think about...inspiring a poem.

"How we get from here to there"

We all need extra help in getting from place to place
It's just about how we decide to share our space
We have bus riders, car drivers, bicycles too
But which option will you choose?

When we go from here to there our choices show how much we care
For the earth and the trees, the birds and the bees
So when you choose to put on your shoes,
and leave for an adventure,
Remember our friends in nature

It's ok to cry

In such a fast paced world we feel consistent pressure to know all the answers.  However, we can't all know everything, making us rely on one another.  This can be a terrifying or beautiful thing. But, when living in a true community everyone has a part and that truth is recognized and honored. Therefore, I wrote this poem with recognition of our need to slow down and appreciate one another for our uniqueness and the mystery of life.

It's ok to cry

It's ok to cry and not know why
Or forget to tie your shoes

We all make mistakes,
 it's just how we decide to lose

So, don't be too quick to call others stupid
Especially, when you know you're no cupid

Don't worry about the test
Just do your very best

One day, we'll understand why
But today, it's ok to cry

Wings to Fly

"Had to go across the water just to find what was here in my heart all along.  Spend so much time trying to be right that I was dead wrong...You're only human let's shake this gravity of resentment and fly high, and fly high. You're only human, let's shake this gravity of judgement and fly high on the wings of forgiveness.  Had to run to the arms of curiosity just to find what was here in my life all along.  I found that the art of simplicity simply means making peace with your complexity..."-India Arie Wings of Forgiveness


I wrote the following poem to reaffirm my beliefs. I'm currently reading This I Believe: The Personal Philosophies of Remarkable Men and Women. The book is a collection of essays on people's beliefs ranging from Einstein to Martha Graham, and then other amazing people who aren't as widely known. Reading others beliefs makes me want to freshen up on my own. The poem teeters on the edge of being negative, but I find strength in pursuing the "I want" aspects, and seeking those whole heartedly, even when other's do not understand.

What I Want

I don't want to know stress and fear of being alone
I want to live in the unknown
I don't want to feel trapped and locked into expectation
I want to roam free and live without hesitation
I don't want to be judged or asked to conform
I want to be wild and in every way reborn
I don't want to meet their deadlines and work with no heart
I want to imagine and dream off the charts
I don't want to do what you tell me
I want to seek inwardly to learn to really see
I don't want to offend you or cause to much unrest
I want to find my own personal success
I don't want to be clean or get everything right
I want to stay up late and not be so uptight
I don't want to feel crazy for wanting to be me
I just want to be happy

As promised here is Shirley the bird

Inspirational Happenings

"As you grow up your mind should be like a room with open windows.  Let the breeze flow in from all of them, but refuse to be blown away by any one of them."-Gandhi


I wrote this following poem/story in class.  My mind was wandering as it usually does, but in this case it led me to a really good thing a poem. As hard as my teacher tries to keep our attention I often lose focus, but am in some way inspired by what is being said in class, or my observations.  This poem was inspired by a drawing I started of my teacher. I made her into a bird, and then stuck her foot in a bowling ball (image soon to be provided).  A poem quickly followed with my reaction to the present situation and the desire to be free to dream. So, here it is...


"Free to Fly"


Shirley was a little bird with many dreams and aspirations
She let her imagination fly her places 


Many others didn't understand
They'd say, "Get your head out of the clouds!"
"You are a bird, but you must calm down"

"Keep your feet planted firmly on the ground."

Shirley'd respond, "But I am a bird, meant to fly and be free."
Shirley soon forgot how to fly


She took their advice, and the weight of their claims brought her down
Grounding her to the earth like the weight of a bowling ball 
While leaving her as weak as the bowling pins
A bird that could once fly and dance in the sky, now lay
Tossled and knocked around at the mercy of other's hurtling throws
Clanks! and Bangs! everyday, 
Her dreams began to float away


So when you think of telling someone they aren't free to fly
Think of Shirley the little bird, and it may make you want to cry
(Or at least less likely to pry)

After writing this poem/story, I felt inspired to make the best of my circumstances and embrace my intuition/creativity even if it leads me in directions others may not understand. If we sacrifice being ourselves we lose and so do others. The following picture exemplifies this perspective. The assignment was to take pictures of ways in which soil is created (which I did), but also found time to make my own art. I picked these "weed-like" flowers, and placed them on a forgotten fence, and I think the positive result speaks for itself.
 

 

For spring break I had the joyful opportunity to travel to Lake Santeetlah with outdoor programs and enjoy true community, enriched with conversation, adventure, relaxation, cooking, and mindfulness. I took photographs of the sunrises, sunsets and all the in between. During the in between one day I took time out to sit and journal, which led to poetry, which led to a drawing. This trust in self led to extended trust from a friend on the trip, who encouraged me to begin blogging my creative reflection of my life, resulting in this butterfly jar.

  

“It is here I am home”

Amongst the secondary trilogy of

tangerine sunrises

violent storm clouds

and emerald waters

it is here I am home

my soul rests with the drifting hawk

over the barren winter mountain while

nestled close to the lavender blossoms

It is here I am home

I make friends with the soft humming bees

and the playful dancing butterflies

that welcome my gaze

It is here I am home

the light within me reaches to touch every cranny of our

gypsy peninsula

which in the as colorful as its visiting souls

it is here I am home

Life’s truest meanings embody the currents

and grace the sandy shores

it is here I am home

The art of doing nothing reveals everything

forgiving my confused past self, embracing the present and

forfeiting knowledge of the future

it is here I am home

My Butterfly Jar

I am using this blog as my butterfly jar.  A means to share the thoughts and wonderings of my mind and heart through poetry, visual art, photography, and much process.  I hope in some way "Mariposa" can inspire you, as we all need to appreciate and document our lives. Thank you to everyone who triggers my mind and leads me to new places of learning and excitement for living.